Dear Abby: I have been married for 22 years. It was a normal relationship, and I was very happy. However, over the last 12 years, my wife has changed. There is ZERO affection, no hugging, holding hands and nothing sexual. We are like roommates. She blames it on having been molested when she was a child. Our level of intimacy was normal for 10 years.
I have suggested counseling, but she refuses. Bottom line: Should I stay, or should I go? I am 64 years old, and this is my second marriage. I don’t want to start over.
— Starved in Indiana
Dear Starved: Ask your wife if she ever received counseling after she was molested. If she did, she needs more. However, if she did not, then it’s time to explain to her that for the last 12 years she has starved you of affection and human contact, and you do not intend to live the rest of your life this way. Then offer her a choice: counseling to deal with her issue or a divorce. You may not want to start over, but you may have to.
See all “Dear Abby” columns
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, California 90069. Copyright 2025, Andrews McMeel Syndication.
