DEAR MISS MANNERS: Over the last decade, I lost my mobility and now use a wheelchair. The family of my partner still invites both of us to family events at their home, even though it is inaccessible to me. They are aware that while I used to be able to walk up the steps to their home and navigate spaces without the wheelchair, I am no longer able to.
I can’t figure out if they still invite me so I know they aren’t trying to exclude me, or if they think that if I only tried hard enough, I could change the medical issues that make the wheelchair a necessity.
I am struggling with how to feel. I thought that your insight would be helpful on how to treat invitations from friends who know that you cannot access the space they are inviting you to.
GENTLE READER: Well … You could presume that they are not trying to subliminally insult you, and just ask if there is another way to access their house.
Miss Manners is not trying to insult you herself. She just thinks that if you assume the best, you may also be able to solve the problem. Or not. But at least this way, you will have alerted them to the fact that there is one.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
COPYRIGHT 2025 JUDITH MARTIN DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106; 816-581-7500
