DEAR MISS MANNERS: I remember growing up, when we had visitors who were new to our house, my mother would give them the “grand tour.” I now do that with all of my first-time visitors.
I have, however, noticed that nobody else does this when I am a first-time visitor — making my initial query about the bathroom a little awkward.
Did people stop showing their houses? Should I just begin and end the tour with “Here’s the bathroom”?
GENTLE READER: Unless you live in a historic property, are throwing a housewarming party or are orienting a houseguest, Miss Manners is afraid that tours smack of showing off.
Apologies to your mother, who doubtless meant only to adjust guests to their surroundings. But after all, what can touring guests do but deliver constant compliments while wondering when they are going to be fed?
You have, at least, been offering drinks before the tour, haven’t you? And not refrained from doing so because they might be spilled on your bedspread?
Even the location of the bathroom can be on a need-to-know basis. Few adults are too shy to ask, and should not even have to spell out such a request, as an inquisitive look to the host should be interpreted as such.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
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